Where to begin?

It's been a little over a week since daddy passed away.  I miss him so much!!  I'm thinking about getting a tattoo in his memory.  Still trying to figure out what to get to express him.  I know that he liked roses, guns, and knives.  lol.  Some mix, right?

Still working at Picture Me! in Dorman Center.  I haven't been fully trained yet, but can't wait to get on the camera!  :)    I can't say this enough, "I like working for this company!"  I just wish it was a full-time job.  I really need the money.  I have student loan payments to pay, and then to help out with bills for the family.  It's kinda hard to do that when you have a seasonal part time job.  I'm hoping that I will get hired on.   But if I don't, then what can I do?

Anyway, I bought the Zumba Fitness game.  I tried it out for a little bit, and it's really fun!!  I haven't heard of it until one day, someone posted a status saying they just got back from Zumba.  So I did some research on it, and well I just ended up buying the game.  Let's hope I'll stick with it, and lose some of this weight.   I know I would feel better, and have more energy.  I put a picture of the logo to the left.  The music is a latin genre.  Basically, you try to follow the dance steps.  They have different levels of dificutly.  Well needless to say I'm on beginner :)

About my Daddy

It's been a week now since we took him to the hosiptal.  He came home last Tuesday (11/16/10).   We found out that he has cancer in both lungs, liver, and right kidney.  The doctor said that he has 3 to 6 months to live.  That he's too far along to have treatment.  The cancer that he has is the kind that spreads fast.  So he has come home to be comfortable.  He's happy being home with his family.  I do ask for prayers for my family.  It has been tough since we have found out about the cancer.  I love my daddy very much!  He has lived a full life.  He always made sure there was a roof over my head and food in my belly.  He taught me the meaning of being honest and hardworking.  Also, he raised me to help people in need.  That there is always someone out there that has it worse than me.  To appreciate what we have, and don't take things for granted.  He always expected me to do the best I can, and that he knows I can do whatever I want if I put my mind to it.  He always made sure that he did what needed to be done for the family.  I am his daughter.  I'm just like him in so many ways.  Mama usually calls me "Terry Junior."  :) 

A lot of you haven't ever seen my daddy.  Here is a picture of him with my uncle.

Daddy is on the left. 

The tattoo on his arm is of the marines.  He served in the military.  My uncle (on the right) just retired from the military.  My daddy has served on the police force and in the fire department.  He was proud of the work that he done. He was always helping people that was in need. He is a very kind hearted person. He was always there for my mama and the family. I just wanted ya'll to know how great my daddy is. He has done a lot in life, and never asked for recognition for it. I want to give him the credit that he deserves.


Please pray for my daddy and family.  He's not doing so well right now. 

The Sky & Me

It's raining here today.  I figured this picture was perfert.  I love these kind of pictures too.  So a win win.   Anyway, my daddy has been in the ICU since Sunday.  He's coming home today.  Which I'm glad.  I do miss him.  We also received bad news yesterday about him.  I've been crying since Sunday night.  What lies ahead is going to be a long and rough road.  But I plan to be there for my family.  No matter what. 

I am a Thorne, and proud of it.  All because of my daddy!

Am I a human ATM?

The title speaks for itself!  I stopped talking to this guy, because he thought I was his human atm.  For example, he asked for 3 big ticket items.  He wanted a laptop ($300+), rims ($1500), and not a cheap cell phone ($100+).  So yeah.  We are not even dating or anything.  We was just friends.  Now you tell me....would you buy those things for someone that you're just talking to?  He got mad at me for not wanting to buy those things for him.  I'm sorry, but I wasn't put on this earth to buy expensive things for a guy like him. 

Let me explain the situation more clearly:

We started talking back in June.  We would hang out and all that great stuff.  It was nothing serious.  I do admit that I would buy food and stuff like that for him, because I won't deny anybody food.  I wasn't raised like that.  Anyway, then he would start asking for shoes and things like that.  He would tell me that it's for work, and I would feel bad.  So I did buy those things also (big mistake!).  I told him about my past.  How I used to support my ex's.  I learned my lesson when it comes to buying or paying for big things.  But it seems like if you try to help out with the little things, then they expect the bigger things too.  Anyway, one day out of the blue he says, "I want to be single."  Ok, that's fine by me.  He still wanted to talk to me and everything.  Which I usually don't do, because I like a clean break for a little bit.  So I can straighten out things mentally, etc.  Well he kept asking me to do things for him.  Some I did, because it was important.  Then when he starts asking for a laptop, that's when I put my foot down.  He got so mad at me that he stopped talking to me for awhile.  Then he will call back to see if I changed my mind.  Then he would say well you let your exs use you.  That I'm not like that, and I still talk to you.  He was basically saying, "I'm different from them, so you should buy me those expensive things."  Total BS!  So I reached the point to where I don't care if we talk or anything!  I know that some of it is my fault for just letting it be the little things.  But I can't help it.  When someone asks for help, I try my best to help them.  When is it ok to help someone, and when is it not?  How do you really know if someone is for real, or if they're not?  I mean if the person cared for me, would they get mad at me for saying no?  I wouldn't think so.  He used to say things like, "Well if you dont', then I'll find another girl to do it for me." Or my favorite one,"I treat you right, and you don't do anything for me."  Things like that made me feel bad.  So I guess it's just my insecurity playing it's part in this whole mess.  So what I need to do is stop worrying about if I'll ever get married or anything like that.  Just worry about me and focus on me! 

It seems one of the most important things in life for people is to fall in love and do the whole family/marriage thing.  I believe that I have made that one, one of my own.  I apparently look for love in all the wrong places.   I should just let it take its course, and go with the flow.  If I do get to be a bride one day, then so be it.  I'm tired of the heartache and rejection I receive. 

On a lighter note:

I'm still enjoying my job!  That's a major plus :)  I got to hang out with the bestie today!  Here she is:

Karly

We had some lunch from Chickfila (my favorite place to eat!).  We went to the mall, and then back to her house.  We just enjoyed chatting and goofing around.  We are going to start working out again.  Which I can't wait, I really need to lose some of this extra weight.  I had a really good day hanging with her. 

I also got to take some pics of my dog, Rosie.  Then of a Christmas catus.  The catus used to be my grandma's, but she passed away back in '08.  So my mom has been taking care of it ever since.  My grandma loved her catus.  So this year it has finally bloomed :) 

Rosie, my lab :)

Christmas Catus

It's starting to bloom

Today was a good day!!  I didn't talk to the guy all day!  I hung out with my best friend.  Plus, I got to take a lot of pictures!  :)   I'm going to go to bed, and hope for another good day tomorrow!  Goodnite everyone! 

I have a job!

I received a call on Friday that I can start working.  They wanted me to start working that night, but I already made other plans.  Karly was taking Dylan (her son) to Kanpai for his 6th birthday!  I took a couple of pics.  Here they go:

Dylan loves that place!!  I can't blame him, I do too :)  Then we went shopping at Toys R Us.  I love that store.  I'm still a kid at heart.  I was playing with all the toys, wanting some of them.  hehe

Then later on me and Karly went out to have a girls' night out.  It has been awhile since we can do that.  You know, I hate the single scene.  It just seems like nobody wants to do commitments or anything.  I guess I'm just old fashioned, but dang...  You can see a guy, and he can look good and everything.  But how much do you really know him?  I guess I'm just scared to jump into anything.  Anyway, we had ourselves a good time. 

Anyway, today was the second day of training.  I'm really liking this company.  They seem to be honest.  That is very important to me.  Plus, my job is not dependent on my sales average!  That's a bonus!  I'm just not a pushy person.  Because I don't like being pushed to buy something.  I will just not buy anything, if you push me.  Anyway, I have learned more during the two days on this job then I did at Portrait Innovations (PI).  That's very sad!!  Seriously, I was just thrown into the camera room to take pictures, and didn't know anything about poses, lighting, or framing.  They wonder why my learning curve wasn't well.  Well let's see, if I don't get trained then I don't know what I'm doing.  I kept telling them I didn't know what they was talking about, becaue I was never told.  So when I was finally figuring out everything, they let me go.  It's fine.  I didn't like the manager or the company!  I understand that it's a business, but if you lie to get sales, then that's not my kind of job!  They supported the lying to customers.  I hated the fact that I had lie to customers.  I was so miserable from that job, I'm glad that they let me go.   I didn't want to quit, because I don't like quitting on things.  But next time if a company is dishonest like Portrait Innovations, then I will quit.  There is a fine line between wanting to make a profit and then just being plain greedy.  Anyway, so far Picture Me seems like a honest company, and that's good!   It's a seasonal job, but if I do well then I could be hired on.  As of right now, I hope I will be able to get hired on.  :) 

I posted a new post on my "101 New Movies Watched" blog.  Check it out if you would like.  I'm going to watch some more movies, so I can cross that task off as soon as possible :)

Special Effects, Ex, My Life View, you name it...it has it

Today I took some pics of me just sitting around.  Can you tell that I was bored?  I should call this blog: "The unemployment girl's thoughts and activities of the day."  That's a pretty long title, but you get my drift.  Anyway, here is the pics of the original and then the special effects.  



Original #1



Black & White with Vignette (Plus some cropping)



Original #2

Splash of Color (my eyes is blue & gray, they kinda blend in) with some cropping

Three effects: Soften, Cross Process, & a white mist

I really like doing special effects.  I know I need improvement with taking pics and doing the effects.  But it's so much fun.  I hope you enjoy these.  I do all my special effects and editing with picnik.com.  It's free!  Who can say no to that?  They do have a premium upgrade, but I'm not sure if I'm serious enough to do that just yet. 

Anyway, I went to fill out paperwork at Picture Me Portrait Studios today.  All I have to do now is wait for the background check to come back.  I know it's clean, I just wonder how long it will take to come back.  I can't wait to start working.  I like supporting myself, and knowing that I earned the money the honest way.  Some people want to make money the easy way, but doesn't everyone know that there is no easy way in life.  It might be easy now but it will have a terrible consequence later on. 

Another topic for tonight is patterns.  I love hearing that I have changed, and all that crap.  But I know that people follow patterns, and they hardly break them.  I would like to believe that people can change, but everytime I trust someone that  has said the 3 magical words ("I have changed."), they just disappoint me.  They will show their true colors eventually.  For example, my ex had abandoment and anger issues.  I tried to help him, but it just seemed to get worse.  He would get mad if I didn't buy him a game, or if I was talking to a guy friend.  He would start yelling at me, calling me names. You name it, he probably called me that.  That hurt my self-esteem so much!  Always being told that I wasn't good enough for anyone else, and that I might as well stick with him.  Anyway, I finally broke it off with him.  It's almost a year to date actually.  I have done well trying to piece together my life.  I wouldn't wish that on anyone else.  I don't care if you are my worst enemy, I would not wish that on you!  Anyway, the point of the story is: his new girlfriend (knocked up) calls me out of the blue (via Myspace, then phone).  Asking me questions about my relationship with my ex.  I got the feeling that she must not be happy, since she is trying to find out things about his past.  I pointed that out to her, and she disagreed with me.  That he is the most wonderful guy in the world (as she said).  So I answered her questions, and she said I lied.  You know the indenial kind of crap.  I told her that she wasn't there and not to be calling me a liar.  I know what happened, I have my side of the story and then he has his.  I wasn't the one checking up on their boyfriend's past, now was I?  Anyway, I recently ran into my ex's grandma. (His family loved me!)  She basically told me that my ex has not changed.  He still gets mad if he doesn't get what he wants, and that he only thinks about himself.  This guy has a baby on the way, and still hasn't changed.  I feel sorry for the baby, I really do.  But my point is, people do not change.  Regardless of their situation, they will always stay the same.   

If you haven't noticed, I put personal stuff up here.  I'm like an open book, literally.  You ask and I will tell.  I'm a firm beliver that if you are ashamed of doing something, then you shouldn't be doing it at all.  It has helped me so far in this life.  I also don't have regrets.  Everything happens for a reason. 

It's a Chilly World Out There

A beautiful picture found on photobucket.com.  I love fall/winter seasons.  All the holidays and everything.  Why can't you be happy during this time?  Plus, no heat :)

Well I received a call today.  They want me to come in to fill out paperwork and all that great stuff so I can start working!  YAY!  It's a seasonal job, but hey better than no job, right?  The job is at Picture Me Portrait Studios.  This should be a fun job.  I can't wait to get started.   They just gotta do a background check and all that.  I'm clean so its all good! 

I love Netflix!  I have been watching In Plain Sight.  Some of these shows are just crazy.  I wonder if there is any truth in the shows.  Like if they have used real examples.  I wouldn't know what to do if I had to go into the witness protection program.  I couldn't be able to leave my family and friends.  They are the most important thing in my life, I couldn't lose them.  But people that had to do it, for whatever reason, has to be brave.  My hat off to them. 

Well I should be getting off this thing and going to bed.  Goodnite Everyone! 

Using bloglovin.com

Follow my blog with bloglovin

Just seeing if this works or not.  :) 

Another day in this life

This picture is just awesome!!  I found it on the web.  I put "Another Day In This Life image" in the bing search engine, and I get this picture.  I wonder how they had the trucks do that.  Because I don't see any support beams or anything.   It would be awesome to see this piece in real life, but I wouldn't get to close since well it might tumble down. 

Anyway, I made another blog called "101 New Movies Watched".  I made it to complete one of the tasks on my "111 Tasks To Be Done Whenever" list.  I figured it would be easier to just do a post for every new movie I watch, and provide a review with a picture.  You can find the blog on the right side of the screen, if you want to check out. 

Today was election day.  I really need to register to vote.  My mom was telling me how packed it was at the polls.  Made me realize, people must have learned a lesson for not voting in the last presidential election, because we got Obama.  Well he hasn't done such a good job so far.  People say that Bush was bad, yeah I would have to disagree with them.  Bush tried his best considering the options that he had.  Anyway, I didn't know that we couldn't buy lottery tickets on election day.  I can understand alcohol not being sold.  You want people to be in the right frame of mind but lottery tickets?  Oh well. 

P.S. - Please feel free to comment.  :)

Update

I have been working on the blog, as far as appearance goes.  I did make a page called "111 Tasks To Be Done Whenever."  That was pretty neat.  Didn't know we can make pages.  So I'm gonna make some more pages and the great thing is I can mark it off my "111 Tasks" list.  :) 

Anyway, today was just a normal day for the Thorne family.  Just wish I would get a call for a job soon, but until then I'll just work on my list of things to do to keep me busy.  Oh, I forgot.  I told my mom what I was doing (a blog), and she decided she wanted to start one herself.  Maybe she will get off of facebook long enough to write one :)

Time to say goodnite.